#TUMBLR PORN GIFS HOW TO#

Water-bottle-butt-shaking notwithstanding, a lot of it is subtle and sensual - two adjectives rarely applied to adult content.

Tumblr has plenty of hardcore blogs featuring pirated mainstream porn, sure, but its most popular adult-oriented sites simply serve as venues for curating a very specific sexual aesthetic. So, what have we learned here? For one, the most popular masturbation material on Tumblr isn't especially explicit or extreme. Turns out Tumblr porn fans like long, lingering kisses and cinematic moments.

It's all rather tame. Sure, there's an explicit scene from the porn classic 'Behind the Green Door,' as well as some super-steamy scenes from edgy foreign films, which are worth an after-work gander, but this isn't the den of depravity that one might expect from our No. What kind of freaky fare is found within? Well, a clothed Leonardo DiCaprio kissing a clothed Kate Winslet in 'Revolutionary Road.' Several of Sharon Stone's mainstream sex scenes. A clip from 'The Sessions.' GIFs from 'Mad Men.' We've arrived at the most popular porn Tumblr, folks. Not Porn is all about thigh-kissing tenderness - a looping clip of a man slowly running his fingers up a woman's bare hip, for example. There was one major highlight: a GIF of a bedroom scene from Baz Luhrmann's 'Romeo and Juliet' that I remember watching on loop for the entirety of my 13th year of life.Īlso, I'd like to officially state for the record that the second most popular 'porn' Tumblr in the world features multiple GIFs from 'The Notebook.' If that fact isn't the makings of a master's thesis in human sexuality, I don't know what is. This blog features sexy GIFs that are largely indistinguishable from perfume commercials: I'm talking a shirtless, chiseled all-American guy in blue jeans kissing down a woman's neck, a lingering closeup of a lady licking a guy's neck, et cetera.

#TUMBLR PORN GIFS HOW TO#

I would be remiss not to mention the - how to explain? - GIF of a woman rump-shaking with an empty water bottle wedged in her butt-crack. I'm pretty sure that I almost had a seizure starring at the blog's GIF wall of impressive gluteal gymnastics. This site makes XXX Booty Videos look like an exercise in minimalism. Never have I seen so many bouncing-butt GIFs in one place. There is not much to say about this site except that it features a whole lot of GIFs of women shaking their butts mid-coitus. Here we've fast-forwarded far beyond hand-holding (or, if you're a follower of Freud, regressed to the second stage of psychosexual development). The smuttiest this site gets is a GIF of porn star James Deen. There's even a photo of a man proposing on one knee. There are images galore of smooching, dry-humping and unhooking of bras. Welcome to the junior high of Tumblr porn. I think that is as much personal sacrifice as I can offer in the name of journalistic accuracy here. (That is, admittedly, a weak qualifier for 'porn' because what won't people masturbate to?) Look, I at least refrained from including. My I-know-it-when-I-see-it barometer went wild when I checked out a Tumblr titled, ironically enough, 'Not Porn.' It features zero close-ups of genital penetration, but I'm going to go ahead and call it porn for our purposes because I guarantee that people masturbate to it. It's possible that some missed my attention there were also some false alarms - who would think that isn't porn? It's also possible that my personal definition of porn differs from your personal definition. You know me, any excuse to watch porn at work!īefore we continue, a few words on the unscientific process I used to determine the most popular porny sites: Quantcast provides a long, long list of the most popular Tumblr blogs, which I scanned for porny-sounding domain names. The panic was barely lessened by CEO Marissa Mayer's promise to protect 'the richness and breadth of content available on Tumblr.' So I decided to take a look at what, exactly, Tumblr-ers have to lose - by visiting the community's most popular adult blogs, of course. TechCrunch calculated that more than 10 percent of the service's most popular 200,000 sub-domains feature Yahoo-unfriendly adult material. Yahoo's purchase of Tumblr has some devotees worried that what they love most about the micro-blogging platform - the GIF porn, obvs - will disappear.

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